Joyless
by SydandVaughn
Summary: Sydney deals with the death of Francie, Completed with Part 3 of 3
1. Death

Title: Joyless  
Rating: PG-13 for language  
Summary: Sydney deals with Francie's death  
Disclaimer: JJ Abrams, Touchstone, and ABC own Alias and it's characters. I  
don't. I just obsess over them. But that's healthy, right?  
A/N: Please, please, please review. I'm pretty sure I need reviews like I need  
oxygen. Or is that ice cream?  
  
  
She didn't know how she was going to handle this. She knew it was pointless to ask why this was happening to her, but that didn't stop her from asking it. All  
she wanted to do was sink into her sorrow. But she wondered if she would be able  
to get back out, if she allowed herself to grieve.  
  
She really didn't have time to let the information sink in. If she was going to  
get out alive, she couldn't allow herself to process everything. But at that  
moment, all she could do was stare at the body of her best friend. Her best  
friend, who now had a bullet hole in her skull and had been dead for several  
weeks.  
  
Tears started streaming down her face, as her stomach began to heave. A sob  
escaped her mouth and she collapsed on the floor next to the body. Her body  
shook with sobs.  
  
Vaughn's voice filled the com. His only answer was more sobs.  
Sydney, answer me! What's going on?  
  
  
  
Sydney walked in the house exhausted from her latest mission. All she wanted to do was soak in the tub for an hour, and go to sleep. If she was lucky he'd be  
there and they could cuddle as she drifted off into unconsciousness.  
  
As she closed the door, she noticed the house had been ransacked. She dropped her purse to the floor. Panic filled her heart. God she hoped he wasn't here.  
This couldn't happen again. She quickly scanned the room for him. He wasn't in  
the living room, the kitchen, or the bedroom. There was only one place she had  
yet to check. Her breathing became shallow as she reached the bathroom door.  
  
She swallowed hard as her shaky hands opened the door. The sight that greeted her dropped her to her knees. Tears spilled out onto her cheeks, as she reached for the body in the bathtub. How could this happen again? He had been shot; his blood stained the creme colored walls and filled the bathtub. His face was so  
pale and his lifeless eyes stared up to the ceiling. She cupped his face in her  
hands, hoping he would wake up. His skin was cold, and he wasn't breathing.   
  
  



	2. Dreams

Title: Joyless  
Rating: PG-13 for language  
Summary: Sydney deals with Francie's death  
Disclaimer: JJ Abrams, Touchstone, and ABC own Alias and it's characters. I  
don't. I just obsess over them. But that's healthy, right?  
A/N: Please, please, please review. I'm pretty sure I need reviews like I need  
oxygen. Or is that ice cream?  
  
  
  
She sat up in bed, breathing hard. A body next to her sat up with her. Syd,  
what's wrong?  
  
She jerked at his voice. She cried. She quickly wrapped her arms  
around him, and held him as tight as she could. Vaughn quickly put his arms  
around her waist, and she began to sob. He stroked her hair, trying to calm her.  
  
Shh, it was just a dream. It's okay. Shh. Did you see Francie again?  
  
No. It was like finding Danny again, Sydney started, but it wasn't him I  
found this time. It was you. She held on to him even tighter as she remembered  
the image of him in the bathtub.  
  
You're okay now, Vaughn whispered. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere.  
  
Sydney nodded through her tears, but she wasn't convinced. She had already lost Danny, Noah, and now Francie. And Sydney knew she could lose Vaughn at any  
minute with their jobs and Sloane promising revenge.  
  
She knew she couldn't handle losing Vaughn too. She was barely making it  
knowing Francie was gone. Vaughn had become her lifeline, and the thought of him  
dead because of this spy trade was too much to handle. Sydney took a breath,  
feeling Vaughn's warm skin against hers.  
  
Vaughn leaned back to lie down again, slowly taking Sydney with him. She put  
her head on his chest, reverently listening to his heartbeat. Sydney fell back  
to sleep in Vaughn's arms, with swollen eyes and tear stained cheeks, afraid of  
what dreams and life would bring her.  
  
  
  
  
I can't do it, whispered Sydney.  
  
Yes, you can, Vaughn replied, also whispering. You compartmentalize all  
the time.  
  
This is different. She killed Francie, but I'm just supposed to forget that and  
pretend she's my best friend! I can't do it.  
  
If we want to get to Sloane, we have to.  
  
Sydney sighed. She knew Vaughn was right, but she hurt so much. All she wanted to do was run from her bedroom into the living room and put a bullet into this  
'double,' avenging Francie's death. Sydney looked into Vaughn's eyes, gathering  
strength from their loving green pools. Sydney managed a small smile, Thanks  
for the 'we' part.  
  
You think I'm going to leave you alone with that bitch?  
  
A small laugh escaped Sydney's lips. Only Vaughn could cause laughter in Sydney when she was in this state of sadness. She put her arms around his neck and pulled him into an embrace. Vaughn's arms found their way around her waist.  
Sydney sighed, mentally preparing herself for what was to come.  
  
Sydney released Vaughn, looked into his eyes once more, and took his hand. They walked out of her bedroom, faking happiness. Sydney gripped Vaughn's hand  
tighter, when she spotted the double in the living room, watching television.  
  
Hey Francie, Sydney greeted the double with a fake smile. She held back the  
bile that was threatening to come up. How are you this morning?  
  
The double looked over to the two of them, making a mental note of them  
together and the time. She replied with a fake smile of her own, I'm not sure  
if it still is morning.  
  
Sydney, still smiling, looked at Vaughn. Well I guess we were up kind of late  
last night.  
  
Vaughn smiled sheepishly, but decided not to respond to the comment. What do you want for breakfast?  
  
Why don't the three of us go down to the restaurant, and I'll make us lunch?  
the double suggested. Since it really is past breakfast time.  
  
Sydney and Vaughn shifted, not wanting to spend more time with the double than necessary. Vaughn replied, Well, we have some work that we need to catch up on. We were thinking of just grabbing a bite to eat, then heading into the office.  
  
It's Sunday, you don't want to work on a Sunday, the double stated, obviously  
trying to get some information out of them.  
  
Well, we don't want to, Sydney said. It's more like we have to. We have this  
huge financial conference coming up, and we really need to prepare. And with all  
of our business trips, we just haven't had the time to do so. I'm sorry sweetie.  
Rain check.  
  
Yeah, sure, whatever.  
  
Sydney and Vaughn grabbed their coats, thankful to get out of the double's  
presence. The double had yet to turn around to the TV; she was more interested  
in watching the two leave. This did not go unnoticed by Sydney and Vaughn.  
Sydney wondered how she missed all the signs that this was not her Francie. She  
mentally berated herself, she couldn't allow herself to think like that in front  
of the enemy.  
  
See you later Francie, Sydney said as she waved to the double and opened the door.  
  
the double replied, still staring at them as they walked out the door.  



	3. Missions

Title: Joyless  
Rating: PG-13 for language  
Summary: Sydney deals with Francie's death  
Disclaimer: JJ Abrams, Touchstone, and ABC own Alias and it's characters. I  
don't. I just obsess over them. But that's healthy, right?  
A/N: Please, please, please review. I'm pretty sure I need reviews like I need  
oxygen. Or is that ice cream?  
  
Thank you for your all your kind reviews. I really appreciate it.  
  
  
  
...give her false intel... lay a trap for Sloane... Kendall was giving his debrief on the current situation. Sydney was having a difficult time concentrating on what was being said. Her eyes were fixed on the corner of the table she sat at, but all she saw was Francie's body. Why hadn't she been there to save Francie? How was Sydney going to tell Francie's family?  
  
Sydney? Are you listening? Kendall asked, glaring at her.  
  
Sydney took a sharp breath and bit her lower lip to keep the tears in. Yes, you want me to lay a trap for Sloane, by giving the double false information.  
  
"Yes, do you think you can pull yourself together enough to do that? Kendall asked accusingly.  
  
It was Sydney's turn to glare. How dare he question her professionalism at a  
time like this. Had he just lost his best friend? Was he the one being asked to pretend it hadn't happened? No, he was just the one giving orders. He didn't have a clue how this felt. As if he knew how anything felt.  
  
Sydney is doing just fine, given the circumstances, Vaughn answered, doing  
his best to protect Sydney.  
  
Fine. Let's put the plan in motion. With that Kendall left the conference room, leaving Sydney, Vaughn, and Jack alone.  
  
How are you holding up? Jack asked gently, as he walked over to the other two agents.  
  
Sydney slowly looked up at him, her eyes full of sorrow. I'm all right, she lied. Sydney knew her dad would be able to see through her blatant lie, but she didn't have the strength to figure out the real answer to his question.  
  
I've just come from seeing Will, Jack said. He's... handling the news the  
best he can. He's worried about you.  
  
Sydney asked as she shook her head. Why is anybody worrying about her? Didn't they know that's how you got killed?  
  
He cares about you, Jack stated. We all care about you. You have to know  
we'll do anything to help you through this.  
  
At any other time, a statement like this from her usually distant father would have brought up some emotion from her. But Sydney was too filled with despair to  
feel anything else. I'm fine, was all Sydney could respond with.  
  
Jack desperately looked at Vaughn, hoping Vaughn could help Sydney. Vaughn  
nodded, understanding Jack's silent message. Vaughn stood up next to Sydney and tenderly placed a hand on her back. You ready to go home? Vaughn asked softly.  
  
Sydney replied looking up at Vaughn. The one comfort she had was Vaughn. He was the only comfort she allowed herself to have. She sighed and stood up next to him. Vaughn took Sydney's hand and interlaced his fingers through hers, and led her out of the conference room, as Jack looked on helplessly.  
  
  
  
She's not answering her cell phone, Sydney said as she placed the phone back in its cradle. And she's not at the restaurant, and she's not here. Where the hell is she? Sydney was annoyed at the disappearance of the double. She just wanted to get this mission over with, so she could get this double out of her life.  
  
Did she say she was going anywhere? Vaughn asked, trying to gauge what the situation was now.  
  
Sydney said with increased irritation. She was just sitting on that damn  
couch, watching our every move. She hit her palm against the wall. She couldn't kill the double if she disappeared. She couldn't trap Sloane without the double. Sydney was at a standstill without the stupid bitchy double.  
  
Vaughn placed his hands on Sydney's arms, trying to calm her down. Do you  
think she knew she was made?  
  
Sydney sighed, with Will no where in sight and the two of us not staying in a room with her for more than a minute.  
  
Yeah, she probably figured it out. And Sloane wouldn't want her around if they  
knew we knew she was a double.  
  
Sydney walked away from Vaughn, screaming, Then what the hell are we going to do now? How do we get Sloane now?  
  
  
  
  
Sydney didn't remember much from Francie's funeral. She knew it reminded her of Danny's funeral. She knew she cried. But she was still in shock from failing again to get justice for Danny's and now Francie's murders. She wondered how many more people were going to be added to that list.  
  
It had been two weeks since the funeral. She had yet to return to work, still not able to function properly. She was now at Francie's grave, at Vaughn's insistence. Sydney knew Vaughn didn't quite know how to help her through this. What Vaughn didn't know was that just by him being there, he was helping, that his presence was all Sydney needed, was all she would ever need.  
  
Hi Francie, Sydney started, her eyes brimming with tears and her lips quivering. God, I miss you so much. I'm not sure how I'm going to go on without you. You were always there when I needed you, even though I could never tell you the truth. I hate that you died with those lies between us... I wish I would have told you everything. I was afraid after what they did to Danny, and what happened to Will...  
  
But apparently that didn't matter. No matter how you're in my life, you're going to get hurt, Sydney choked out, as tears streamed down her face. She fell to her knees on the freshly patched grass, facing the newly etched tombstone. She sobbed, crying until she didn't have any tears left in her.  
  
Sydney caught her breath and wiped her face of the tears. I wish you could have met Michael. He has been amazing. I finally realized that I love him, that I've loved him for a long time now. Which is the scariest thing for me. Letting someone into my life and have him mean so much to me. If I lose him, I know I won't survive.  
  
The woman that replaced you disappeared. We're pretty sure she went back to  
Sloane. Right now we're back at square one on locating him. But I promise you Francie, Sloane will pay for what he has done to you, and Danny...and me.  
  
  
Fin


End file.
